At the end of the day..i forgive, i let go, i am kind, i pursue my dreams despite criticism.. because i am doing it for MY evolution, to fulfil MY calling and purpose God put me here for..to stretch MY wings and fly.

If i don't forgive, it's ME who loses out the power to Love better. If i don't try, it's ME who loses peace of mind filled with "what ifs" and regrets.
It's not being Selfish.

Marianne Williamson and Paulo Coelho say rightly that we are afraid most of all of our own greatness..we are raised to be so self-conscious and our own sense of martyrdom appeals to us..to feel guilty about succeeding when so many around us are struggling.

But the truth is that only if we shine, can we become a candle in that dark room and shed light for EVERYONE else around to SEE as well..and awaken to the equal greatness they contain within - put there the day they were made by the Source that made them and you and me..and us all.. ♥

Self- Love is aligning with Source and daring to Live by the power we gain from that connection.
Selfishness is focusing on survival, shrinking away from that connection because we dare not trust in it or ourselves or others.

We do not do what is good because we have to. Because we are told to. Because we will suffer otherwise. No. We do what is highest good because we have WINGS, and what good are wings if we don't fly? We do what is highest good to feel the wind beneath our wings, to breathe in the beauty of being so high and free.. We do what is LOVING because it is what sets us FREE to BE the greatness we are meant to be~

A Letter for My Heart

"I have found that there is one collective truth, that is that Love is at the very centre of all our existence. That Love is the opposing force to everything that makes 'us' be who we are, this being the ego, the illusion, a basis made of nothing but the opposing force to Love, this being fear." ~ My Dear Friend Dan Warb

The Unity of Diversity

I noticed today a discussion where each person was putting forth a truth..a beautiful truth they had each discovered and in this discussion, there were so many various angles of the truth..that it almost seemed as if there was an invisible yet palpable, growing desire to find the 'actual' truth in everyone's truth..

Standing on the outside with the eyes of Acceptance open in my heart..i saw that it was actually amazing..all the valid disagreements and yet, all the unity and grace as everyone put forth their own view.

Isn't it amazing that there are so many perspectives of the same? So many different opinions of what truth is..

This is exactly why there are so many of us, all one Great Spirit and yet manifested as many unique soulprints..to bring diversity to this world as there are many colourful and diverse creatures in the sea.

The truth may just be that each of us sees a different angle of the same prism.. and each has to see only that angle for their unique placing in life's path And yet..one day we find another prism view, almost as if we are ready for it as it is ready for us..because we have evolved, our journey has brought us to a different landscape..

And so, all views could be true..for isn't that the true beauty of the Divine - it fits everyone beautifully and meets us right where our specific soul is?

Rest

Sometimes i can't think

i can't feel

i can't even breathe right

i need to rest

Pause, put on hold, take a break.

Even if it's from living my dreams.

Image: Mermaid taking a nap by Efira

Darkness is merely an absence of Light

"People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will probably remove their inclination to create it for others" David Blaine

Recipe for TURNING ON THE LIGHT:

(works equally well for self and for others)

Where there is Fear, allow in Love.

Where there is Lack, identify an existing Abundance.

Where there is Judgement, opt instead to exercise Acceptance.

When i hand out these balloons, they make hearts LIGHTer..and life so much BRIGHTER

Free Spirit

I love the way dandelions seem to just float off indefinitely..to me they are the perfect ambassadors of marrying freedom with trust.. they go for as long and as far as they can with a breeze and wherever they land, they give their all to grow. I like that attitude towards change. Life is full of change and if i can embrace them unafraid and with a willingness to work with it, i too can not just survive BUT thrive wherever i finally land ~

Life is a Garden

i am the one doing the waiting..

many many little seeds around me
that's how i see life
when there are things i'd rather see happen NOW

i take a step back and reframe
that they are actually seeds or seedlings
and then
i can see how i should wait patiently
for Nature , the Universe, Love
to set the perfect pace
for everyone including me

most of all me

Making Time for Me

When life gets overwhelming..i enjoy being outside in nature or making friends with my feelings in a notebook..

Time spent just investing in me, brings great returns to everyone else in my life when i return refreshed and energised to once again be the best i can be.

Dealing with Pain

The more i live, the more i see that none of us have it easy and yet..none of us need to have it hard on ourselves either. It's all about finding the right mix/balance of self-love to give and receive. And the best we can all do is to affirm each other. I don't think in 'right or wrong', 'black or white' anymore..not after so much has hit me and so many people did more damage than good trying to judge before they supported. We all walk in different shoes, but a blister is a blister. They don't hurt differently just because they were caused by different shoes. So i don't ask anymore what shoe it was or why they wore the shoe..i just get the salve and band aids. They have enough pain dealing with the blister without me helping them focus on it even more.

Loving acceptance is going beyond judging, and coming from a place of compassion that acknowledges that pain is pain. There is no pain greater or lesser than another's. Is a 5 year old crying over spilt paint over her artistic creation in less pain than a man who has lost his job? Or are the consequences of a lost job just harder to deal with and so we grade it as a higher pain? Both need affirmation, both need understanding. Each person's pain is relative to their own capacity of dealing with it. To offer comfort and healing, is to offer love that does not 'grade' one person's pain over another's. We all hurt and bleed, and bleeding one pint or bleeding five pints is no less painful. Perhaps it is each person's threshold of pain that we actually judge..and if this is so, then perhaps it is the amount and administration of affirmation that differs. But in all instances, there is need for affirmation. And if this so, then perhaps it is easier to do away with judging altogether for what purpose does it really play in offering the support required? If it is to help me decide how much of my own time and effort to contribute, then isn't it far better for me to evaluate myself rather than the person receiving my care?

When i am in a place of self love and my own love tank is full, i can affirm and support others better. So in that sense, affirming others isn't about how much they 'deserve' it, but more about how i feel about myself and how much i have to give. All the more reason to love myself well. It truly is what makes me love others better. And for that matter, perhaps it is why i have learnt to embrace pain better..for when i learn to heal myself as an act of self love, it empowers me to affirm others through their inevitable pains too.

The Child in Me

I know what it is like to struggle with depression, for although on the surface it seemed that my life was enviable, i had so many buried griefs. In the last two years alone i have had to juggle the overwhelming emotional responses brought on (simulatenously) by the death of a key person in my life, the irreversible mental health diagnosis of another, as well as the responsibility of caring for a new life alongside the ongoing need to care for other little lives dependant on me. Without a clue on how to reach out for the emotional support i badly needed, and at a time when my self-esteem was at its lowest - i finally collapsed.

But what a blessing..the emotional wounds forced me to sink or swim. I had three small children so i HAD to swim and that’s how i found inner child healing. It turned out that i had much grief accumulated from childhood, and by going back and affirming the child that i once was, still in pain inside of me, i was able to start healing emotionally. It involved many tears, many painful episodes of anger and loneliness - the dark night of the soul - as i allowed many of the hurts to surface and be acknowledged. But being honest with myself was the most loving thing i did for myself and for the people i loved (although they could not always see it as so much negativity was pouring out from me). But eventually..after all the hurt was allowed, good memories of my past suddenly started appearing and becoming clearer as if they had actually been trapped beneath all the layers of pain above them. I started feeling genuinely good about life and believing in the inherent good in people again.

So now, i continue to love my inner child and be honest with my feelings by allowing them space to be acknowledged. Just like my children need to both grieve and receive comfort when they get hurt or sad by their own choices or by others, i have learnt to accept that i too have that same need in dealing with my own hurts and griefs, both self-imposed and those caused by the choices of others. It isn't easy, given the years of conditioning i've had to be critical and 'tough' on myself both as a child and even more as an adult, but i'm learning well, spurred on by how good it feels to be able to breathe freely again.

In all of us there is a child, and that child never goes away. Loving that child is the key to so much healing and a greater horizon of happiness ~

The Forgiveness Factor

Lately i have been looking at the thin line between selfishness and self-love..it can be tricky for some to self love without becoming selfish ..and yet to genuinely self love actually enables me to become self-less in a more giving way


I think this is the magic in life..
two sides of the same coin
but facing it the right way up
is the only way up that opens the lock


I'm in a very dense relationship and it keeps holding me back from being the true free spirit i am ..but it's where my soul has chosen to be, to perfect a karmic lesson it needs to learn..
and it seems to come down to one simple thing..forgiveness.


It keeps everything simple to recognise that since we are all ONE..we all inevitably err..and instead of overanalysing or being too hard on ourselves (or others)..we can choose to recover quickly and move back to JOY


forgiveness.. another face of compassion
another name for LOVE

It's MY Life

Is it really good practice to just live MY own life? To mind MY own business and do MY own thing?

In many ways, it is. For we are all unique, each on a road no other could ever travel or comprehend. And so, the values and principles i choose to live by are based on MY truths that are unique to my own set of circumstances and constraints in life.
And yet, isn't it possible to take these words as a license to do as i please without a true heart of compassion or realisation to the fact that, whether by form or by spirit, we are all truly connected in word, deed and thought to one another? It follows then that every choice i make impacts others whether i dare to admit it or not..

Yes, i can Live MY Life..but

we are ALL CONNECTED
and all that i choose to say and do and think and feel
like a ripple............
reaches the farthest shore from me

Yes, i can Live MY Life..but

living from my heart
i choose to affirm
and uphold another
by choosing every word and deed
with LOVE
rather than justice

for every ripple from another
responding to my choices
reaches right back
to me.

Living My Dreams

"Enjoy the journey for we never arrive.." ~ Dan Warb

My friend Dan said this to me today. He called me a clever girl first which completely made him my favourite man of the day of course, but it's what he said after that truly spoke to my heart.

Yes, life is a journey and there is NO DESTINATION.

I have spent the past week wondering where i want to go from here..having accomplished all my dreams that i dreamt as a teenager.

Dan's words make me wonder..if perhaps, the next part of my dreams are to just live at random, from my heart..guided only by LOVE.
After all, i've spent the first 30 years guided by reason, in complete logical practicality and it's become a hard habit to break. I'm sure if i throw in some animal instinct in the mix and find a right balance, i'm sure to come out a winner.

Maybe that in itself is the new dream..

Going by the truth ringing in Dan's words..i think i could from now on wake up everyday with a new dream.
And never have to worry about whether i'm getting closer to yesterday's dream..as long as daily.. I HAVE A DREAM.

Let Go and Dance

Sometimes when you've reached the end, you just need to LET GO. At some point, we realise that we really can't ever have control of anything and that life is a tune that plays regardless of our preference for the music. We just learn to stop trying to change the music, or staying off the dance floor in a sulk and start learning to dance instead. It's not giving in or giving up - it's accepting. Accepting isn't defeat. It's wisely adjusting your sails according to the wind so you keep moving forward.

It's a self-loving thing to do..to ALLOW ourselves to seem weak and accept what we don't want. Truth is, it takes far more courage to let go and accept, and then to grow and flourish despite the setbacks..

And eventually, you realise that you can dance quite well and that the music itself doesn't matter anymore. But the only way to get there is to get up and dance, regardless of the music.

Caring is NOT worrying about Others

"What is an “Act of Caring?” It is a simple two step process which always begins with Step One: Paying Attention to the Needs of Someone or Something. This means to watch and listen with your ears, your mind and heart in order to determine someone else’s needs. Step Two: Giving. Give to the person (or thing) in order to help them feel secure and to grow and evolve, to become more of who they are. To care for yourself is also a vital component to your own happiness and when you identify and pay attention to your own needs and respond to yourself in order to feel more secure and to grow you are caring for yourself.

Caring is not worrying about others. It is about genuine concern and responding to needs in order for growth to occur. It is.. caring that allows the Soul’s love to awaken and solve the problems, heal the confusion and end the pain."

~Michaiel Patrick Bovenes

So, Caring is NOT worrying about others. It is responding to another's need in order to enable them to become more of who they are. Not who i think they could be, or who they may become, or who i need them to be.

And how do i know if there has been genuine caring?

If Love then flows into the other being (or into myself) on its own accord, and the being then becomes ENABLED to deal with life with their own God-given birthright-store of inner wisdom and life-giving intuition.

What a beautiful truth i can accept today and set not just myself, but so many others free with as i start CARING the way caring is meant to be ~ <3

artwork by Stephanie Law

Slowing Down Isn't Regressing

I am alone now at last as my angels are asleep. I love them dearly, but would be dishonest not to admit that lately i have been struggling inside to store my heart-powered wings away to attend to their earthly needs. I have been making so much progress on the journey of my heart..and to have to slow down feels almost like i am giving up and losing out on chances i may never gain again. Thus begins the struggle within me.

How easy it is for us to feel negative whenever we are growing in strides, and then find ourselves slowing down or even halting. And gradually, it breeds the feeling of failure. But then redemption comes when i remember that after a long walk through beautiful landscapes, the best thing to do at sunset is to rest for the night and dwell back on the pleasantness of the day, basking in the shadow of the beauty i have personally encountered once more in my heart and mind as i unwind for the night. It is not weakness to turn in for the night and enjoy the stars and seek comfort for my body.. it is the most natural thing to do after a long day out playing.

Why do we feel that we need to maintain an accelerated, or at the very least a steady pace at all times when the going is good? Why the disappointment when the pace eases up, when we need to slow down? I think maybe it is the fear of regression or of missing out that is the true struggle. Times like this i need to switch from feeling a failure to accepting that there is a season and rhythm for every part of life, a time and a purpose for every activity under heaven. And if that is so, then i am not missing out on the rose in winter, but merely accepting that she appears only in summer. Yes, slowing down isn't regressing. And going with the flow sometimes means letting go of the heaven i build around my expectations to really be able to make a heaven with the actualities i find on earth.

Fading Vision

you are strong

like me
my twin flame
we are daisies that flourish wherever we land
cats that always always
land on our feet
and depend on many senses
not just one
and mainly our heart
to not just survive but thrive

yes, i would stare hard at my precious gifts for the longest time

and etch every detail in my memory
and so know that you are taking in as much of your gift as you can

i think that's where my tears are coming from
a mother's heart
for another mother

~ for my darling friend Catherine who is slowly losing all ability to see due to Ocular Albinism..i know you will rise above this and turn the darknes into amazing light as your inner beauty always does, but i cry all the same for the Dark Nights of Faith in between now and then ~

Affirmation Versus Loving Admonishment

The world seems full of duality. In seeing everything in duality we define life as as good and bad, pleasure and painful, united and separated. What if we see it as merely Ying and Yang? Two sides of the same coin? To walk away from the 'right' path and suffer pain, is it truly 'bad'? Or merely consciousness versus unconsciousness? We talk of pain being necessary for growth. We talk of darkness being necessary to appreciate light. How do we know the beauty of one end of the spectrum without allowing the other? I am on this journey now.

I spent 10 years in church faithfullly learning to see black vs.white, good vs.bad. Hearing messages of love balanced with admonition to stay on the path. But what is 'the path'? We see one man's ruin, but 10 years on he may be a totally different person, far more loving than before as a result of his suffering. The world will say he finally returned to 'the path'. But what if it was his own individual path from the start and the seeming deviation in my eyes was merely part of his road to take him to his personal destination. I may not prefer the same road but does that make that road 'wrong/bad'?

Both my husband and father are examples of men categorised as 'unwise'. And i was filled with pain looking at them from a duality view of 'good' vs 'bad' choices. But only after removing duality could i see that they both have their own wisdom and that life had to be that way for them and that no wrong road was ever wrong in the end. It was wrong for me in my shoes, but it need never turn out bad in the end IF we have love, affirmation and those walking alongside us who KNOW that each of us have Shadows we cannot escape and need not fear those shadows. Embracing those shadows, even if it be the trait of being slow to meet wisdom on her terms, is what makes us whole and connected to each other. How many times now have i frozen my opinions on my daughter's choices that seemed unwise to me only to be so glad later that i did. With my love and affirmation, what seemed a 'wrong/bad'poor' choice of hers turned out good BECAUSE she had me there to love her through it and that awakened her to meet wisdom eventually.

I am left wondering, after many years of having to be healed of the scarring effects of duality thinking in my childhood and later in church , if it's possible for there to be only messages of love and affirmation that AWAKEN consciousness rather than promote duality. And enlightened mind can easily see the words that sound admonishing but has hidden pearls in it, but simpler minds only see the admonishment and their hearts are not fed.

Even as i share this, i know that we are all different and while many can be happy with the encouraging messages framed in duality, my heart sees a need for these lovely messages to be also 'translated' in a non-dual affirming way for the too many people out there scarred by a century of ego-based upbringing and systems and are thirsty for affirmation after years of 'loving admonishment'. They can fly but are too afraid because they've been warned far too much of the 'dark side' they must beware of. Time to tell them - "Believe and Jump! Your heart is pure and that's all God sees. He won't let you fail because darkness and light are alike to him and even if you have a fall and get bruised, it's not the end. It's part of the adventure." No admonishment, just affirmation that erases all possibility of fear so they can dare to LOVE and LIVE their dreams.

Giving by Being Authentically Me

I so liked this. I need to remember that the best giving i do is just being my true self.

No more, no less.

All else is just me being UNTRUE.

"What Are Your Gifts You Bring To The World?
by Catherine Love

What are your gifts you bring to the world? We each have gifts to offer; ways of being, skills, talents, personality traits and so on that arise naturally from our authentic selves. At times it's easier to focus on what we're missing, on our defaults, or on what we don't have in comparison to others. This perspective goes against our highest truth so depletes us and makes us feel small. When we become aware of what we do have to give we feel full and whole.

Sharing your gifts with others, no matter how small or large, is an expression of love and abundance. You might not be aware of what your gifts are, but know deep inside that you are giving whenever you interact with others from true self. It might be your welcoming smile that warms someone's heart, or your sense of humour that brightens their day.

Perhaps you have the gift of clear communication that makes connecting so easy, or a gentle touch that helps someone feel loved. Maybe you listen from your whole being so others feel truly heard. It might be a skill that you offer like organizing details, planning events, or researching subjects. You may have a talent for creating beauty through art, music or words. Whatever it is, acknowledge it and share it with the world."

The Natural Link

Love in My Mother's Embrace

I will go into an open field.

There I will lay down upon the ground,

my arms open wide

and stare up at the sky.

I will see clouds forming shapes my mind cannot recognise.

I will smell the perfume of weeds and grass

crushed beneath my muscle and bones...

and while it will be familiar

it will bring no memory

of the hustle of my life

behind closed doors and concrete walls.

I will gradually see the colours around me

blend into each other...

sensing everything and yet nothing in particular.

And as I gradually dissolve

into nothingness of consequence

I will become

the very essence of the universe

~ an accepting abundant love.

When i am most overwhelmed, being out in nature so restores me. And i have heard the same of so many others who seem to gain a calming, restoring sense of well-being when they go to a place in nature that is greater than themselves. When i feel tired of my daily routine, a visit to the park refreshes me. When i am overwhelmed by endless caregiving, a trip to the forest in all it's wild disarray works better - almost as if my mind finally recognises something far greater than it can ever handle and backs off, leaving my soul the space it has been needing to finally breathe clearly.

The more 'lost' i feel inside, the greater the natural element i need to calm my inner tempest. Perhaps that's why the ocean is my ultimate soothing balm of nature. When i stand on the fringes of the ocean, i know there is no way i could ever be in control. My mind is defeated by the truth that i am finally facing a force so great, and a peace washes over my heart..of accepting that the mighty force before me is governed by a Love so great that it holds the ocean in place. Surely it is doing just as well, holding me.