About Living from the Heart ~

We live by stories passed on for generations about who we are
and where we should be going. But these stories don't always let us live our best lives, because they aren't our personal legends.

Living from the Heart is about discovering our own stories. Choices with Intention. It is the journey to be true to ourselves and to dare to be all God and the Universe made us to be.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Hero

"Momma, can you please put this on?"
I look at the tiny purple Barbie shoe..and the hopeful face in front of me full of unwavering faith in my abilities to save the day. The clasp doesn't fit the foot of THIS particular Barbie, and i say so. But i take it anyway..i try anyway. And i FIGURE out a way to do it. Somehow wiggling, stretching, shimming..(the barbie's foot) - i succeed.My fingers are sore and i'm stressed for no good reason but..

I receive a BIG SHINY EYED SMILE..and my 3 year old walks away on tippy-toe. A sure sign she's happy. And my sore fingers smile too. They feel so useful.

I am not saving the world today with my fingers. I am not generating economic value either.
I merely made a child feel important and happy. And she reminded me that i can do anything if i will only try with all my heart. The force of the LOVE from that moment..i believe just echoed through the Universe.

Honestly..my 3 year old thinks i'm her hero..what she doesn't realise is that she's mine.

dreaming together

i shall bring the bucket..you bring the spade and we shall build sandcastles and tuck our dreams inside.. then when the waves take the castle away..they'll bring our dreams all over the world and our dreams will spread far and wide and come true ♥

 

The Gift ... of a Memory

In the sky are stars called constellations .. and on earth they are called Friendships  ©CelyaTay

When i was 9, my dad called me to his writing table. He had a scowl on his face and asked me sternly, "Did YOU write these?" I suddenly recognised those little papers in horror ... i had been writing at his table and helping myself to his stationery a little too generously it seemed. And the evidence was now in his hand.

I had better confess, I had already been caned enough to last a lifetime, mostly for being too curious for my own good for I had an awful inability to stop experimenting with life (not fun for my parents because i kept using our home as the lab). "I'm sorry ... i thought you wouldn't mind me using those papers..." was the best i could come up with. My father's only reply was, "WHERE did you copy this from?"

Oh no... now i was in for it! I hadn't copied it from anywhere ... and told him so. "ARE YOU SURE?" he asked loudly. I was a deer staring at headlights. In the past, i would be so pressured to give him any answer so he would stop being so loud, that i would end up saying ANYTHING my immature mind could rationalise as logical and end up tripping up in what seemed outright deceit. I had enough caning from those 'lies' since i was 7 to know, when in a corner .. just stay silent or tell the truth no matter how absurd it may be. "I wrote them .. i didn't copy them from anywhere... i didn't ... "i heard myself whisper.. looking him straight in the eye. "Are you sure?" my father suddenly softened his tone. My mother was staring at me in the background. I nodded. "They're brilliant", my father said ..looking at me proudly with a sheepish smile. I hadn't realised it before, but i had been holding my breath. And now, i was beaming.

On those papers were little words i had put together on my own.. little sentences that had come from somewhere inside my heart and head. Things i felt about life and love. Looking back, I can't blame my parents for suspecting their 9-year old of plagiarising things like "There is no reason for living when there isn't a reason for loving" and "In all men lie great things like an oyster in a pearl". It's only as an adult I realised with a smile that my father, an avid reader and lover of words, probably interrogated me so he could read whatever book i was copying from !

It's years later, and I give a silent thank you that my father dramatically confronted me about those little notes. For one fine day, it resurfaced in my mind and became a precious memory that spoke to me about something i hadn't realised all along ... my calling and destiny to be a writer.

In The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, are these precious lines
"The Boy didn’t know what a person’s ‘destiny’ was… It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young knows what their destiny is.”
It is truth, for i look back now at my entire life and everywhere along the way ... i have always shined as a word-smith. A writer. The words come from around me, swirling in the air .. and they beckon me to be put together .. to be placed in the physical reality of this world. They want to be more than a promise, they want to be real and speak hope ..speak love .. speak truth ... speak to build and affirm a solid home in my heart .. and gradually, a desire to build solid homes in many hearts.

I started writing this with a quote on how i view friendship as earthly constellations .. precisely the kind of words that seem to leap from the air into my head and command to be put on paper. And as i write this now, i realise that the memory of that day when i was 9 came back to me after my father had crossed over. Perhaps, he felt it was time to remind me ... his gift for me from heaven, or maybe, he's still waiting for that book ~


i'm 4 ... already holding a pencil well and writing my heart out :) .. Destiny ✿

Love

Love isn't around us. Love is IN us...waiting to come out into the sunshine and meet other hearts ♥

Affirmation

"i blow the wind of encouragement your way..so your boat will move just a little further from shore and catch the wind already waiting for you in the middle of the ocean of all possibilities

"Let your heart be your compass...and your mind the sails. And let the wind of Love take you far and wide..to where you belong ♥

Commitment = Dancing in the Rain

Too many people only decide whether they like their partner's strengths..but that's actually not even a decision. That's merely falling in love. Staying in love is deciding whether you are okay with your partner's flaws.

I think that's what committed relationships are really about. Can i 'put up' with someone's weaknesses as well as i 'put up' with their strengths? That's what we really need to decide in forming a long term partnership: "Can i LIVE with YOUR 'FLAWS' knowing you may work on them or not, and that even if you work on them..just because you love me enough to try..they may never go away?"

If you can say yes to that..and mean it, you'll both get through the storms that WILL come. Rain is inevitable..it's a law of nature. Better just to choose your umbrella upfront..then you can dance in the rain ♥



A beautiful woman

There is nothing more beautiful to a man than a woman confident despite her
flaws,
and nothing more valuable to a woman than another woman who
shares her struggles..

A beautiful woman embraces her flaws and makes them her allies, not her foes

Love..Flows

Water follows the shape of it's container..ever flexible..
and yet it always stays water..
no matter what shape it takes.
Water is gentle..yet cuts through rock


Let your LOVE be... like water ~

Love..Releases

All things in life have seasons..
and all relationships have a PURPOSE..
those we link with are mirrors
and some do not stay..
as they need to be on their own journey
as we are on ours

some can only grow
if they leave the shade of our branches..
a tree does not go after those who leave her side..
she stays constant
knowing she is there with open arms
BOTH to Embrace and to Let Go..

ALL relationships are a test of our own NEED

Walk into an open field holding on to a balloon..
say a prayer for what was and how it's blessed you
then open your hands and LET GO

ALL IS AS IT SHOULD BE
LOVE makes sure of that at all times ♥


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Power of One..Multiplied


Each bulb is shining bright, because that's what it's meant to do.
All connected to the same power source.
Go far enough..and you can see: The power of one.. Multiplied

JOY


“A laugh is a smile that bursts” ~ Mary H. Waldrip

Ode to Shiloh


I made a postcard for my friend Leo Lemon of his cat Shiloh..
He framed it up (thank you Leo!)
and here is Shiloh - sitting proudly under his very own
"Ode to Shiloh"

TOOO precious
gorgeous kitty...i LOVE it ♥











Here's the postcard :)

Open Skies

When i was 10, i had one dream..to travel. I wanted to see OPEN sky. I lived in a small home, with iron bars on every window..and the houses crowded next to each other. It was lovely though to just have a home. We started out in a wooden house in a village and that seemed poor but it was heaven to me because it was surrounded by nature..and i could run free outside. Here in the city behind iron bars i was grateful to have the washroom inside, where i could turn on a light, instead of outside..where it was pitch dark. Yet i had traded a safer washroom for my ability to run outside and play. Outside cars passed by and i was kept in all the time where it was 'safe'. So i got used to those bars..but i never stopped dreaming that somewhere was a life for me without bars and with plenty of sky. Someday i would be free to BREATHE in the open air.

At 18, I earned a scholarship to study in New Zealand - also known as Aoteroa. Land of the Long White Cloud. Which meant it was FULL OF AMAZING OPEN SKY. All my dorm rooms in New Zealand had no bars and always, i got the room with a view of open sky. I travelled all of New Zealand during summer and had my fill of open skies. My dream had come true. I cherished and savoured every minute of it.

I still look for a patch of open sky every day. Standing on a beach, driving in a car, sitting at a park, standing in my yard with my eyes upward. I NEVER take it for granted. It reminds me where i was once was, and where i am now. Open air and open skies remind me daily that DREAMS DO COME TRUE ~




Originally posted on Facebook Fan Page on Monday, 24 May 2010

Space for Darkness


If we go far enough into outer space..we see that the earth is both night and day at the very same time. It's then we realise that both night and day are ONE and the SAME..the difference merely a matter of timing and perception.

It helps to accept that pain has a place in this world. It helps to accept the sunset and give yourself freedom to receive comfort from some stars on moonless night. And if there is no moon, find a single candle. Anything that makes it OKAY to be in the dark for a while. For however long you need to, to heal.

Only - fight to stay AWARE that the Sun is STILL shining even though you can't see it.

Sometimes it takes a tornado to tear down what's already dilapitated..because we just won't move on to a safer, better home or make the necessary repairs and changes. But when a tornado happens and it's destroyed..we feel the pain, but almost a sense of relief even that it's finally over. THEN at last we have the reason to pick up and do what we needed to all along.

An oyster makes dirt into a pearl.
Our pain and darkness too - can be a seed for great Beauty and LoveShine.

Today - I allow myself UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE ♥


Originally posted on Facebook Fan Page on Wednesday 26 May 2010

A Letter to My Daughters

Girls, each of you have been a precious gift to me. I could never have learnt as much as I have, grown so much, experienced so much of life, without being your mother. You are each amazing people, and it's a privilege to watch you bloom.

Yet, some days you must feel you are a burden more than a joy to me. The truth is, on those days it's my own sense of lack, my own feeling that I can't be enough for you, that makes me sad and distant - even angry. That is hard on us both.

I love you. But its not enough to love you deep down, I know you need to feel loved high up too. So I think we need to accept this about each other - that sometimes I must love you high up in ways you prefer and that at other times I can only love you high up in ways that I prefer. The point I want you to see is that whatever the way, I am loving you. Accepting this would mean we can truly enjoy each other, without the burden of high expectations placed on each other.

Loving you is not a chore, so I won't make it so.

Loving me is not a demand, so don't act or think like it is so.
Let us love each other freely, simply because
we are meant to be together,
because it is written in the STARs..
That I am your mother..
that love will flow from the Universe to you from me
and that it will return to me from you.
A complete circle, a constellation neither you nor I can ever undo..

Originally posted on Facebook Fan Page Friday 16 July 2010

Light the Candle..of your heart

And these three remain: faith, hope and love. but the greatest of these is LOVE

Everyday..whether a song, a short movie clip, an excerpt of a book..or merely watching someone lovely for 5 minutes..or a flower even..awaken LOVE inside you

This is the poet's way..or else his words, his music or his brush will still...and the world will mourn after he is gone because he wasted away in silence..And they will regret that they did not shield him more from the darker parts of reality..so that he could brighten their days for more and for longer..

But what if YOU are the poet? Then seek all that will keep you shielded..all that will keep you safe in your dream..so your candle will remain burning and become a great fire that can never be engulfed..

And your brush, your song, your words..will flow freely..
blessing many as it finds its way back to the ocean of love.


Originally posted on Facebook Fan Page on Tuesday 3 August 2010

Honouring Space for Pain

Taking in the laundry..a gecko rushed frantically away from me, as i reached for the sheet on the fencing. Poor soul..it didn't know i meant no harm. Anyone who knows me could tell that gecko, i would never deliberately harm. But perhaps it thought i may harm it by accident? I can't be sure.

All i do know is that gecko reminded me of so many people i have met in this lifetime..who shrink away from a meaningful encounter. From a relationship. From an opportunity. From a second chance. Because like that little panicked gecko..they are wary from memories of the past. Or avoiding the uncertainties of the future. Scarred by what has been and by imaginary could be's - they merely react. And never truly give themselves a chance to respond to what's contained in the NOW.

Yet just like i understood that gecko, i understand their panic. I am no longer hurt when another rejects me, or runs the other way. I understand now that it's never truly about me or against me. I need not feel hurt..not by a panicky gecko, not by a judgemental stranger, not by a distant friend nor an angry lover. Instead, now when someone runs away or rejects me..i see a gecko. I accept they have some form of pain. Accept that there is no need to judge them or myself. Accept that there is no need to become defensive..but to simply honour the other's need for time to heal and move on. I think this was one of the greatest acts of kindness given to me when i was a gecko not too long ago..and i am glad to now pass on the love.

Original post on Facebook Fan Page on Sunday, 22 August 2010

Free as the Wind

When you stand in a strong breeze ..if you close your eyes and stay in THAT moment alone..no past nor future..and if you choose..you can actually SEND a part of you along with that breeze..

Stand facing the wind..
Close your eyes..or open them if the view soothes your soul
Open your heart and then focus on 'jumping into that wind'
Then actually visualise the breeze going THROUGH you
and a part of yourself going away with that breeze
as it travels on..
it's VERY powerful and healing


i imagine all that is negative in me..
the debris of remaining negative energies i am unconscious of ..all of it going away with that breeze

and in that moment..

i feel VERY free and wild
and sometimes...i can see places i am not at and i know..
it is part of me in that breeze traveling on
free as the wind ~~


Originally posted on Facebook Fan Page on Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Normal..is just a setting on my washing machine

When you have a challenge..like bipolar, or autism, or depression..or a weak kidney.. you actually have two choices: Live It Up or Survive. To me, it's an opportunity to finally Live It Up because now you get to REALLY live life fully. A challenge makes you wake up and make choices and really push limits and know what you are all truly capable of achieving in life. So many people have routine lives and get bored to death inside. But a challenge provides just that extra ingredient in your life that can make you live your best life EVER.

There is no such thing as a disability..in God's eyes all of us are disabled in one way or another..a fiery destructive temper, silent passive aggression, stubborn irresponsibility, thoughtless critic. Are't those disabilities too? (In fact, they actually wreck far more lives) So 'disability' is actually just a pointless label. Heard of the woman who has no arms who can fly an aeroplane? The man with no limbs who can swim? I see them and i think..who's actually disabled? More like the people who complain that life is tough and do nothing but expect others to make it easier for them. Or those who could do something to ease the burden for others, but choose to stay indifferent. These are the true 'disabled' in my eyes.

Nope..if you have a challenge (even if it IS a fiery destructive temper) - you actually have the opportunity to have a better life than most. You can become more conscious of your choices and responses and by doing so, live better deliberately - you Live It Up.

Yes, you will have rainy days - who doesn't? Nature even has typhoons and floods hit the landscape, why should your heartscape be any different? Rainy days are NOT a measure of the quality of your life. It's what you do when the sun is shining - that truly defines an extraordinary life worth living

Originally posted on Facebook Fan Page on Friday, 27 August 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Relationships...

All things in life have seasons..
and all relationships have a PURPOSE..
those we link with are mirrors
and some do not stay..
as they need to be on their own journey
...as we are on ours

some can only grow
if they leave the shade of our branches..
a tree does not go after those who leave her side..
she stays constant
knowing she is there with open arms
BOTH to Embrace and to Let Go..

ALL relationships are a test of our own NEED

Walk into an open field holding on to a balloon..
say a prayer for what was and how it's blessed you
then open your hands and LET GO

ALL IS AS IT SHOULD BE
LOVE makes sure of that at all times ♥

Love is...a RISK everyone takes

i risked a lot..gained a lot..lost a lot..still have a lot..
in the end..LOVE always WILL FIND A WAY

trick is loving..not because you need to
but because you want to

heart love not mind love is what endures..
because what is rooted in our soul cannot perish

20 years with the same man
name it..we've been through it
which is why i say..
LOVE WILL FIND A WAY

to those who rush into romance without care
it is the fervour of youth and adventure
but hey..aren't we ALL supposed to experience something like that once in a lifetime?

just need to forgive ourselves and the other.
not to blame love
but realise that it's okay..it's okay..
to be young and have to learn from the school of life
open back the heart
even to the same lover who has hurt you..
after we have made peace with ourselves
it's actually our own reflection in the mirror
we need to love most
and then..quite naturally,
our heart will be a true compass
pointing north to the one
we are meant to have companionship with
for the parts of the journey where two are better than one ♥