Dealing with Pain

The more i live, the more i see that none of us have it easy and yet..none of us need to have it hard on ourselves either. It's all about finding the right mix/balance of self-love to give and receive. And the best we can all do is to affirm each other. I don't think in 'right or wrong', 'black or white' anymore..not after so much has hit me and so many people did more damage than good trying to judge before they supported. We all walk in different shoes, but a blister is a blister. They don't hurt differently just because they were caused by different shoes. So i don't ask anymore what shoe it was or why they wore the shoe..i just get the salve and band aids. They have enough pain dealing with the blister without me helping them focus on it even more.

Loving acceptance is going beyond judging, and coming from a place of compassion that acknowledges that pain is pain. There is no pain greater or lesser than another's. Is a 5 year old crying over spilt paint over her artistic creation in less pain than a man who has lost his job? Or are the consequences of a lost job just harder to deal with and so we grade it as a higher pain? Both need affirmation, both need understanding. Each person's pain is relative to their own capacity of dealing with it. To offer comfort and healing, is to offer love that does not 'grade' one person's pain over another's. We all hurt and bleed, and bleeding one pint or bleeding five pints is no less painful. Perhaps it is each person's threshold of pain that we actually judge..and if this is so, then perhaps it is the amount and administration of affirmation that differs. But in all instances, there is need for affirmation. And if this so, then perhaps it is easier to do away with judging altogether for what purpose does it really play in offering the support required? If it is to help me decide how much of my own time and effort to contribute, then isn't it far better for me to evaluate myself rather than the person receiving my care?

When i am in a place of self love and my own love tank is full, i can affirm and support others better. So in that sense, affirming others isn't about how much they 'deserve' it, but more about how i feel about myself and how much i have to give. All the more reason to love myself well. It truly is what makes me love others better. And for that matter, perhaps it is why i have learnt to embrace pain better..for when i learn to heal myself as an act of self love, it empowers me to affirm others through their inevitable pains too.