I am alone now at last as my angels are asleep. I love them dearly, but would be dishonest not to admit that lately i have been struggling inside to store my heart-powered wings away to attend to their earthly needs. I have been making so much progress on the journey of my heart..and to have to slow down feels almost like i am giving up and losing out on chances i may never gain again. Thus begins the struggle within me.
How easy it is for us to feel negative whenever we are growing in strides, and then find ourselves slowing down or even halting. And gradually, it breeds the feeling of failure. But then redemption comes when i remember that after a long walk through beautiful landscapes, the best thing to do at sunset is to rest for the night and dwell back on the pleasantness of the day, basking in the shadow of the beauty i have personally encountered once more in my heart and mind as i unwind for the night. It is not weakness to turn in for the night and enjoy the stars and seek comfort for my body.. it is the most natural thing to do after a long day out playing.
Why do we feel that we need to maintain an accelerated, or at the very least a steady pace at all times when the going is good? Why the disappointment when the pace eases up, when we need to slow down? I think maybe it is the fear of regression or of missing out that is the true struggle. Times like this i need to switch from feeling a failure to accepting that there is a season and rhythm for every part of life, a time and a purpose for every activity under heaven. And if that is so, then i am not missing out on the rose in winter, but merely accepting that she appears only in summer. Yes, slowing down isn't regressing. And going with the flow sometimes means letting go of the heaven i build around my expectations to really be able to make a heaven with the actualities i find on earth.
No comments:
Post a Comment