The Power of Letting Go

It appears to me that men get lost in the roles they play competing with one another in their quest to succeed and gain personal worth. Women on the other hand seem to get lost in the roles we play in the relationships we build, in our equally important quest to find personal value.

In either case, getting lost in our roles and finding our identity in them is perhaps what makes us feel so empty in the end. Roles are jobs. Categorised tasks. I wonder why we think our worth is tied to how well we perform these categorised tasks.

My heart does not rejoice when a friend or lover can carry out their job to perfection. My heart rejoices when someone cries with me, when they laugh wholeheartedly or throw me off balance with their gentle touch on my shoulder or squeeze of my hand.

These are not categorised tasks and are basic to every soul. It's why people love babies who, hopeless to perform any job well, are still experts at just living in the moment and by loving intuition. They watch ants crawl by with fascination and reach out to grab your nose without thinking too much about whether it's accepted protocol. They live from their heart every waking moment. It's all they know. To just be, because they haven't yet fallen to the pressure of doing anything to be a success, and to be accepted.

So i come back to me. And all my roles and tasks that i start off doing with love, with passion and then it all fizzles out. I find myself exhausted from the giving, from the routine, from the constant juggling. And every relationship i build to break away from the humdrum seems to eventually add to the miles i need to walk. Men go from Hero to Zero. Women i guess go from Goddess to Grumps.

I need to let go and just be. I am after all called a Human BEing and not a Human DOing. But sometimes that only happens when i actually break down. I don't enjoy breaking down though. As cleansing as it can prove to be, i would like to learn to walk on an open path towards light and not always through a dark tunnel.

I think when a Goddess realises she CANNOT anymore, it is not weakness. It is wiseness.It is how she can continue to gain power to remain a Goddess while other women keep going believing they are one and break down ♥

When i forget who i AM

and find myself continously

mothering

partnering

homemaking

one task after another

one thought after another

and i find that i can no longer even choose

to pause and breathe

without a conscious effort

then i have lost myself in the roles i play daily

and i need to quit

and just

ENJOY

I will rejuvenate the waters of my soul

just watching grass bend over while a breeze blows by

knowing at that moment my spirit

is in that blade of grass

the same spirit in the wind

seeing the truth

that i am more than the sum of my parts

and to rest from all i have to do

is not weakness

and is not escape

but a return

to all

i am

truly

meant to be.