About Living from the Heart ~

We live by stories passed on for generations about who we are
and where we should be going. But these stories don't always let us live our best lives, because they aren't our personal legends.

Living from the Heart is about discovering our own stories. Choices with Intention. It is the journey to be true to ourselves and to dare to be all God and the Universe made us to be.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

There is no failure. Only feedback.

“Memories are reminders of what God has done and where we could have done better.” ~ Ravi Zacharias

Reading this is intimidating to me. It makes me feel that memories are scary things..like a strict old school teacher who brandishes the cane instead of encouragement for mistakes made. I have no problem with the God bit. It’s not hard for me to believe that the Universe, a Higher Force, the Great Spirit – whatever you relate to most - does have a hand in our days. It is looking at what I could have done better that I have an issue with. That disciplinarian approach to life. It feels highly judgmental. It carries a wrong versus right, good guy versus bad guy connotation that I no longer feel is the truth of my world after all.

What if all that I could have done better was exactly what I needed, so that I could be where I am right now? Given my unique set of circumstances and life experiences, what exactly is 'better'? Do I compare to my own standards or someone else’s? The fact that I made a judgement call in the past and that I have come this far must mean that I did what best I could AT THAT POINT IN TIME. Why even revisit that moment to salvage working parts? The way I see it, if I can look at the same situation and see a different path from the one I took – it means I have grown or changed or evolved somewhat. So it also follows that my past decisions could never have been better because I would not have been the wiser me now, back then.

I see no point in looking back in judgement. Today is all I have. Tomorrow, some events today would have helped me evolve even more.. enabling me to make different decisions for the same situation I meet today because tomorrow.. I will be wiser than today. So I can never really use yesterday's scenarios as a truly worthy yardstick for my tomorrows. By tomorrow, most if not all, the possible variables in the situation would have changed, including me.

I think I would rather go by the belief that “There is no failure. Only feedback.” I am more comfortable with that. It’s encouraging. It’s building. It’s affirming. And most of all it’s freeing. My memories then become fuel that I can easily burn up and use to power up my todays. They have no hidden regret or guilt attached to them. What I could have done better in the past then just becomes a neutral experiment, an experience, which provides me with relevant feedback. So I don’t get hung up on the fact that I made a bad choice then and need to avoid more bad choices in the future. Instead, I can wake up every morning truly believing it’s a brand new day, just like the day I was born because I no longer ever need to fear making bad choices. After all, there is no failure. Only feedback.

1 comment:

  1. Yes yes...feedback is a much kinder and I like it much more than "done better"..I could of done better MAKES ME FEEL ANNOYED inside and scrunchy and squirmy...because I truly believe I am always trying to do my best...and so many people ARE doing GREAT and there best with every moment they have in life...Hayley:)))))))))))))